Life can be tough when you are a divorced mother. As we all know, more responsibility isn’t always a nice thing in life. We had a candid chat with Michelle, 36, a mother of two, recently divorced from her husband of 12 years. “It’s a tough life”, she says.
Read on to know what Michelle had to say and the things you should know if you are a divorced mom.
1. Start building up on your finances
“One of the most important things you should know if you are a divorced mom is that you are now on your own feet when it comes to supporting yourself and the needs of your children financially. Yes, your ex-husband may have promised you a certain sum in monthly payments, but what if he suddenly disappears?
Who is going to support you and your children financially while you battle out yet another court case with him?”, inquires Michelle. Are we all listening out there? Heed Michelle’s advice and start building up on your savings to prepare for the worst, God forbid.
2. It’s not wrong to go out and have fun
“A divorce is not like a temporary breakup with your partner when you may feel that going out and having fun, even if it means going out on dates, is a wrong thing to do”, opines Michelle. This tops our list of things you should know as a divorced mom because you should not stop having fun just because you’ve had a divorce.
Of course, we don’t expect you to go on a date the very next week or month, but feel free to go on night outs with friends or even cozy dates after you have emotionally recovered from the trauma of your divorce.
3. Be prepared to spend more time with your children
Lack of a parent can cause a dent in any child’s life. “It’s a sad thing to have happened but we must face that fact that our children now need more attention because there’s only one parent in their lives, instead of two”, says Michelle.
Spending more time with your children is one of the things you should know if you are a divorced mom because you will need to make deliberate efforts on a daily basis to spend quality time with your kids. “Don’t ignore this because it is a question of your children’s upbringing”, she adds.
4. Your family is your shoulder to lean on
“It is times like these when your family needs to come out all guns blazing to support you and your current situation. This tops my advice on things you should know if you are a divorced mom because the support of my parents and my sister has been instrumental in my survival after my divorce.
My parents often came over and baby sat my children while my sister was my go-to person whenever I needed emotional support”, Michelle tells us. Bank on your families to be the shoulder and pillar to lean on while you are sailing through rough waters.
5. Check on all available benefits
The American government cares for the upbringing of young Americans and supports divorced mothers who may be facing tough times, financially and emotionally. “One of the most vital things you should know if you are a divorced mom is to check for all available benefits given by the government in times like these”, says Michelle.
Depending on your current situation, your custody requirements and other terms in your divorce, you may be entitled to child support. The laws vary from state to state so best is to ask your local council about any benefits that you may receive as a divorced mom.