‘I was doing great on my own with the kids. I managed to get an apartment, pay for health insurance and even continue with my youngest son’s private school’
We had a hurtful divorce and I’m the one who paid for it, both financially and emotionally. I got back with him, as our daughter is closer to him and would always want him around. I got back with my ex-husband for our kids, believing it would be better to raise them in a two-parent home.
During our divorce, he was barely around the kids and only saw them at his convenience. When we had to celebrate any achievements, I would request him and, of course, pay for it too. When we split, I was doing great on my own with the kids.
I arranged to get efficiency, pay for health insurance and even continue with my youngest son’s private school. He was in bachelor mode, with someone two years older than our oldest son. My daughter fell into despair and kept needing to see her dad.
He wouldn’t come when she wanted, not even for her counseling. It has been up and down, really ugly at times to the point I have to cry quietly in the shower. So after two years of being formally divorced, my ex and I had a discussion to try working things out for our two youngest kids
I pay 90% of everything, maybe even more. He pays his loans, and the only thing he pays for in the house is the internet bill, which is about $150 a month. Sometimes he doesn’t even pay that, and we get cut off. Here is a textbook definition of economic abuse: “Economic abuse, in addition to physical, sexual, and psychological abuse, is a common tactic of control in intimate partner violence that is as common as physical and psychological abuse.”
“Defined as the ‘control of a woman’s ability to acquire, use, and maintain economic resources, thus threatening her economic security and potential for self-sufficiency,’ it is a coercive behavior that makes the victim economically dependent on her partner and at greater risk of continued abuse,” He lives in your home. He is settled that he should not put his hand in his pocket for anything. And for what? Company? For the kids?
The trick that this guy has drawn is that you are doing all the work, and paying for all the bills, while he reaps all the benefits. He lives in your home. He is settled that he should not put his hand in his pocket for anything. And for what? Company? For the kids?
The trick that this guy has drawn is that you are doing all the work, and paying for all the bills, while he reaps all the benefits.