A breastfeeding mother of a four-month-old baby has sparked a family dispute after declining a wedding invitation due to a ‘no children under 12’ policy. The mother explained her decision in a recent Reddit post, revealing the challenges of leaving her baby, who “won’t take a bottle,” for an extended period.
The mother recounted that she had to turn down her cousin’s wedding invitation after learning about the child-free rule, which was not disclosed until after she had already RSVP’d. “The issue now is that I have a 4-month-old baby who only breastfeeds and won’t take a bottle,” she shared. “She had to drink from an open cup one time because I needed to take a driving exam and that is the longest she has ever been away from me.”
The bride and groom were not pleased with her decision. “My cousin is mad that I’m canceling as they paid per head and can’t reduce the amount at this point,” she wrote. “I said, ‘they can try and find someone else to invite’ [and] ‘it’s his fault that they didn’t write the child rule on the invitation.’”
The couple suggested that the mother and her own mother take turns watching the baby at an Airbnb nearby so she could attend the wedding. They also advised her to “not be stingy and get a babysitter.” The mother found these suggestions impractical and costly. “Paying for a babysitter on top of an Airbnb and flight is ridiculous to me,” she responded, adding that her cousin argued “it’s standard to not bring children to weddings.”
Ultimately, she decided to cancel her attendance. “I said it’s just too big of a deal,” she wrote. “To fly all the way there, pay for an Airbnb and then go back and forth during the wedding. It just doesn’t seem worth it. It’s a lot of effort to do all of that by myself with a small baby.”
Reddit users were quick to share their opinions on the matter. “Your cousin is trying to make his bad planning your problem,” one user commented. “How ridiculous to ask a mother to get a babysitter for a 4-month-old baby who is breastfed, in a strange city where she doesn’t know anyone?” Others labeled the cousin as a “bully” and “clueless.”
One user suggested, “Get your refunds while you still can. You know if the tables were turned, he wouldn’t leave his 4-mo-old child behind, nor would he hire a babysitter he didn’t know anything about.”
In an update, the mother mentioned that “30 people have canceled” their wedding invites due to the no children rule, further aggravating the couple as the cost of the ceremony became a bigger issue.
The situation highlights the often complex and emotional decisions parents must make and how family dynamics can be strained by differing expectations and circumstances.